I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with “oh thank god please do, I don’t want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I’ve got beetles I wanted to study.”
“I’m really not good at it,” the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.
So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn’t long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.
She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.
Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).
The Queen says she’ll negotiate a trade deal with a neighboring country that has also suffered from the worm blight and her husband stares at her for a long moment.
“No,” he finally says. “We’re going to give them the beetles for free.”
leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this
Sometimes something fucked up happens to the guy and their melody gets fucked up too. Sometimes the thing that fucked them up also has its own melody and when the first melody gets fucked up the second melody gets mixed in
New discourse: it’s actually predatory to date someone with a different star sign than you, because the differences in your personalities means you’ll never be able to have exactly the same life experiences, thus leaving a knowledge and power gap between the two of you which will inevitably lead to an abusive relationship!
also if you’re a Sag and you’re dating a Taurus, that means you’re secretly seeking a May-December relationship, which is age gap coded!
Also, humanoid signs like Aquarius, Gemini, and Virgo absolutely cannot date animal signs. That is interspecies erotica codedfuckoand animals CANNOT CONSENT.
Aries, Capricorn and Taurus dating each other make me sick, they’re all bovidae it’s so obviously incest I– 🤢
